The bubble gum incident.

Now I had a boss a long time ago that if you was caught chewing gum it was a fifty dollar fine, each and every time. He would always say "Looks like a cow chewing its cud ."  This rule never bother me I never really chewed gum. Well  to be honest the only time I have ever chewed gum was when riding on a motorcycle. I guess it helps to keep my mouth from drying out.  Chewing gum and heat do not mix, matter of fact they go together like oil and B.P.  just not a good idea. I have been broken from this habit and it was not long ago that I incurred the foo-foo bubble gum incident.
Wooly and I was on a bike about. It was one of those hot desert bike abouts. Now I do not like the heat, I can handle the cold better but it seems it is easier to get people to go for a ride when it is 100 degrees out rather then 50 degrees out. So I guess I will always be odd man out and have to ride in the heat if I want to ride with my friends.
We had stopped some where outside of White Sands New Mexico and got gas, a drink of cold water and I had bought a thing of mojito flavored chewing gum. Sounded kind of refreshing a Mojito gum or drink...;D   On this day I was going along at a normal pace 10 miles over posted speed limit and the foo-foo gum I was chewing was dissolving in my mouth. It was almost instantly turning to a liquid form almost like a gelatin that had been left outside.
The wind was blowing hard and I did not want to spit the gum out and it land on the Submarine or me. That would just be nasty, and yes I still have some tack left in me but this day proves I am pure Cajun tack... So I am waiting for the wind to calm down so it does not throw the gum back on the Submarine or me. All the while the gum is dissolving and running down my throat causing me to gag.  It was like a nasty rubber coating oozing down my throat. I was trying really hard not to gag this mess up and it was trying harder to make me gag. So here I was stuck trying to get it to stop and it was not stopping. Trying to keep it from making me gag, I am going down an interstate in 100 plus degree weather gagging on this rubber mess running down my throat waiting for the wind to calm down so I can spit the mess out.
When finally I though I had a chance so I spit the nasty dissolved rubbery mess in my mouth out. Bad move the wind kicks the liquid form of gum back at me and it hits me in the neck, check and glasses basically the right side of my face. Trying hard not to loose my composer while trying to get the instantly now dried hard as a rock gym off me I pull to the side of the road.  Wooly is laughing his butt off after he sees the mess I have made of myself and I am mad that I just can not spit like a boy. I now think it is important to learn to spit, maybe even a survival skill.
On the side of this dry dessert road I am trying to think of what the heck I have that might get the now dried, hard as a rock gum off me. If I was at home I know peanut butter works but there is no peanut butter in my saddle bags. The only thing I could come up with is lotion; a petroleum based product might do the trick. So here I am trying really hard to rub this nasty dried mess out of my hair and off my skin, gloves and glass. My summer riding gloves was ruined I just tossed them in the first trash can I found. When another bike pulls over to see what the problem might be. Well after fighting this mess for what seemed like an eternity I had enough of it off me to get going again. Thankful the Submarine was spared the mess or I would probably still be trying to clean her.   Any way lesson learned and I am back to my old ways of NEVER chewing gum!

Okay Woolys Rehired

Some time last year I fired Wooly from ever  planning any more rides.  I bloged about how bad that ride went anyway he has redeemed himself.  Being stuck in Memphis, a town I do not recommend, I have desovered we are on the wrong side of 3 states... The other side of Tennesse has a lot of curves and mountains to offer.  Same with the other side of Arkansas, and I would much rather be stuck in the gulf then in the middle of nothing like I am here.   So trying to plans rides here is as boring as back home.  Don't matter where you go it is flat and stright and well nothing to really write about.
So being so stuck on nothing to do I got frustrated with the map and told Wooly don't care it all looks boring to me you plan the damn ride.  Well he did and he did a good job of doing it also.  Now do not get me wrong it was 70 miles on an interstate to get to the curves but hell that beats all day of boring stright roads.  But when we finally got there I have to admit he did do a good job.
The ride finally started with fueling up and winding our way through what should have been a good stretch of sweeps but we got stuck behind a couple 3 wheelers who would have had to speed up 10 miles an hour to hit the posted safe speed.   I remember thinking does a three wheeler not get the same thrill as to dip that bike and pick her back up in a curve.  Guess not because they was going way to slow for me to get that little tickle in my soul I normally would get in a curve.  But we finally made it to a half way straight a way and we blew by them to have our   fun... And yes we finally got some fun,  tickle my soul, dance with my bike, twisty, turning, banky fun. Now the weather did not matter that we could have got poured on any second.  And the shinny orby thing was no where to be seen, I finally got some curves, some wind some Zen back into my life.  
After our day of playing we stopped for dinner and to decuse the days events the things we have put off for this moment of Zen... My question is why can I not get payed to ride my motorcycle? Now that is a job I would love.

Getting Lost

 GET LOST!!!
It sounds easier than it really is, seven letters two little words...  GET LOST!!!   Something someone might have said to us, or in my case, I have said to people.   But some times in life that is what you need to do just go get lost.  Get lost from your responsibility, your stress, basically your  business life, your every day nine to five.  Now don't get me wrong, I love my life but it does have  some stress that comes with it.   Some times a lot of stress comes with it...
Today Wooly and I took off for a little bike-about it was time to de-stress, unwind and find my zen again... The day started a little cold still in the 30s but was to warm up to the 50's so off we go... By the time we stopped for gas the  temperatures was in the 40's... It turned into a beautiful ride but like most of our rides we  encountered some bumps... Yes the road kind but also the life kind.  So after missing a turn, a little temper tantrum, we get back on track for some curves.   We followed a scenic road south and when it come out to where we were originally going to turn back, we decided to get lost... just start  by taking this road and then maybe that one and... Don't look at the road numbers or names just turn here turn there and finally you get lost...
Well ,when we finally was lost, having fun enjoying road not on the maps, well most maps and life stress was finally behind us.    Wooly slows way down and I follow his lead he looks over at me and says" Are we lost enough for you yet?"  My first responses was yes, but some how I said not quite yet... So we rode a little father...;D
 Any way after a great day of getting lost on some curvy roads we have never seen before, we finally head back to our lives, we stopped for a drink in some dive bar in the middle of no where and was talking about the day... Wooly statement fit today the best... Life begins at 20 miles over the posted  safe speed limit in curves ...

Deer Wooly

I know if you read my stories that a lot of our riding friends call me the “Rain Goddess” but they call Wooly “Deer” And no I did not spell this wrong I do mean the four legged animal that people hunt, shoot, and eat. I will let him tell you all of his close encounters with these four legged critters but I am going to tell just one of his tales …

The most intense one was nine  years ago. Wooly, me and our favorite long haul biker friends went for a weekend spin. Our favorite long haul biker friend had just bought a new Heritage Springer and wanted to take it for a spin so plans were made, and Friday night we met half way between our houses. Once we hooked up everyone headed back to our place for dinner, drinks, and catching up it was not thirty miles before the darkening skies let loose and started pouring on us (Rain Goddess). We did pull over in a gas station and let most of the storm pass before finishing the way to the expensive storage locker. There we spent the night drinking wine and catching up on everyone’s lives...

The next day I had a wedding to go to, so it was a late start down to the Lake of the Ozarks. It is a good thing it was only a couple hundred miles so no big hurry on the time thing… After the reception and eating some damn good food we all hopped on our bikes and headed for the lake… This was before Wooly had the “New Wife” or I the “Submarine”.  So Wooly was riding the First Wife and I was riding Mydol and our friends were on their new Heritage Springer. The ride down was great, no rain. We would be heading into some but every time I thought we would run into it we would make a curve and it would not be right in front of us any more… We did get spit on a little but with the Midwest heat none of us seemed to mind...

After arriving at Woolly’s brother’s house we all unloaded and hopped on his boat for a little spin a few beers and a quick jump in the lake to cool off. Back at the house our favorite long haul biker friends said that they wanted to go check out Bagnal Dam… This being a weekend night I knew I could walk around faster then drive so I pulled Mydol into the garage and hoped on the back of the First Wife. 

We had rode most of the way to the dam when I watched a deer jump out of the woods. Now this damn thing was running straight beside us at an angle. I quickly did the geometry in my head and knew we were going to crash with the damn thing...  But early that day Wooly had told me in his not patient with me anymore way “Do not question my madness!” So I being scolded once, I decided to not question his madness.  That was almost a fatal mistake that I will not make again…Lesson learned!  Always question any madness!

When I could see those big brown eyes almost staring straight into mine I decided it was time to react to this bad situation… I screamed "duck! "while  I grabbed the top of Woolly’s head and pushed both of our bodies as close to the bike and as flat as I was capable of doing… At the same time the deer had to of thought, those stupid f@$king bikers and decided to give it her all and jumped over us… Now in this nano second all three of our lives had changed…  The deer actually jump right in between Wooly and my heads even in our flattened state it barely missed both off us...our long haul biker friends was behind us and watched the whole thing unfold before their eyes too…

After the deer jumped over Wooly and me, she jumped over the car that was going the other way, I however did not see it because I still was holding Woolly’s head down to the gas tanks of the First Wife… When we had came to a complete stop in someone’s drive way our long haul biker friend was screaming at us “Did you not see that fucking deer? What the hell is wrong with you?  Did you not see that fucking deer?”   I think he was more upset then we were over the whole deer jumping thing.   Don’t get me wrong I was shook up but I did not thinking yelling was going to change anything and I was  just glad that Wooly and me was not road kill...

The drive back to the lake house was very intense we were all watching for deer and probably going as slow as an old lady driving to church...  But somehow we managed to make it back to the lake house alive without any more deer incidents.   Once there we hoped in the boat and went to the local cove bar for a drink or two... I just keep thinking them deer can't get  us now...Safe for the night!