The bubble gum incident.

Now I had a boss a long time ago that if you was caught chewing gum it was a fifty dollar fine, each and every time. He would always say "Looks like a cow chewing its cud ."  This rule never bother me I never really chewed gum. Well  to be honest the only time I have ever chewed gum was when riding on a motorcycle. I guess it helps to keep my mouth from drying out.  Chewing gum and heat do not mix, matter of fact they go together like oil and B.P.  just not a good idea. I have been broken from this habit and it was not long ago that I incurred the foo-foo bubble gum incident.
Wooly and I was on a bike about. It was one of those hot desert bike abouts. Now I do not like the heat, I can handle the cold better but it seems it is easier to get people to go for a ride when it is 100 degrees out rather then 50 degrees out. So I guess I will always be odd man out and have to ride in the heat if I want to ride with my friends.
We had stopped some where outside of White Sands New Mexico and got gas, a drink of cold water and I had bought a thing of mojito flavored chewing gum. Sounded kind of refreshing a Mojito gum or drink...;D   On this day I was going along at a normal pace 10 miles over posted speed limit and the foo-foo gum I was chewing was dissolving in my mouth. It was almost instantly turning to a liquid form almost like a gelatin that had been left outside.
The wind was blowing hard and I did not want to spit the gum out and it land on the Submarine or me. That would just be nasty, and yes I still have some tack left in me but this day proves I am pure Cajun tack... So I am waiting for the wind to calm down so it does not throw the gum back on the Submarine or me. All the while the gum is dissolving and running down my throat causing me to gag.  It was like a nasty rubber coating oozing down my throat. I was trying really hard not to gag this mess up and it was trying harder to make me gag. So here I was stuck trying to get it to stop and it was not stopping. Trying to keep it from making me gag, I am going down an interstate in 100 plus degree weather gagging on this rubber mess running down my throat waiting for the wind to calm down so I can spit the mess out.
When finally I though I had a chance so I spit the nasty dissolved rubbery mess in my mouth out. Bad move the wind kicks the liquid form of gum back at me and it hits me in the neck, check and glasses basically the right side of my face. Trying hard not to loose my composer while trying to get the instantly now dried hard as a rock gym off me I pull to the side of the road.  Wooly is laughing his butt off after he sees the mess I have made of myself and I am mad that I just can not spit like a boy. I now think it is important to learn to spit, maybe even a survival skill.
On the side of this dry dessert road I am trying to think of what the heck I have that might get the now dried, hard as a rock gum off me. If I was at home I know peanut butter works but there is no peanut butter in my saddle bags. The only thing I could come up with is lotion; a petroleum based product might do the trick. So here I am trying really hard to rub this nasty dried mess out of my hair and off my skin, gloves and glass. My summer riding gloves was ruined I just tossed them in the first trash can I found. When another bike pulls over to see what the problem might be. Well after fighting this mess for what seemed like an eternity I had enough of it off me to get going again. Thankful the Submarine was spared the mess or I would probably still be trying to clean her.   Any way lesson learned and I am back to my old ways of NEVER chewing gum!